To whom I know can read still through its fantasized furry skin

Dear M.

I looked back towards the green door this morning
from where you always appear
at unexpected times
but You were not there!

Were you not supposed to
play with me in the rejuvenating sun
again today?

and tune in
as if all the answers
of
a living gleam
even before my questioning?

and draw
these colorful contours
of a playground
in whose eternity
we used to hide
our unheard melodies

which in reality
is Not other than you or I

but I knew

I of course knew
deep inside of me
that… you were gone

That emptiness

Not a cessation
but the heavier touch
of a farewell
to my body now

questioning my sincerity
like a yoga

an analysis of vulnerability
of you in me

Is everything not so ?
once assigned to the play of objects
manifesting as
“the forgotten divine center of life”

We do not
yearn by a failed spiritual exercise
once known

The acceptance of temporality
and sudden disappearance
when ‘of you’
is still in the fashion of
“when I would at least expect it to be”
kinda reality

but
At least That !

Yeah! …and still

I cannot say
I knew it coming

I wish I could
just be able to

is a confession
of my truth these days

And so
there lies the issue
Perhaps:

“These days “

separated from “then and after”

A day – added on a time line
At a place where time does not exist!

Almost as if an – ‘I’ being devoured
by a rolling stone

incredibly
in the knowing of its consciousness

is my helplessness
-These- Highlighted – Days- Yeah!

Looking around
to see as it appears just
but Not as itself

Not!
No!

Not!
I know!

So?

so … If I haven’t known
Then there would not be an issue
to feel the soul of things less than
what you think in truth should be like

Like?

Like
A child can

Yes
so it truly is
an isolating shame in crowds

Once defined

But
Only you

You
would understand
No matter what

The tiger stretch love
My cat breath patterned teacher

If I could at least have given you a cuddling hand
these last days

while you lolled there rolling

a friendship wouldn’t have suffered the
loss of physical intimacy so soon perhaps
which
I’d have for always

“but Please
Please DO accept me as who I am”
you say

and so I thought I did!

I thought I could do

but I am sorry
The truth is
what we both know

I forgot you were my meditation
after needs came into play

I objectified you as what you looked like:
As books would define your nature

And I
I
hid behind these

Giving you only what tastes like that moment
To avoid the essence of our friendship

For my blind ease

Thinking it would be enough to make you happy

but our touch
was for one unseen and unwritten reason only

Transcending your nature
you knew it

And tried to prove it to me
over and over
still
I treated you just as what I think you appear like

Ignoring
The truth of I
YES
The truth of I

Haven’t we built our spiritual bond
Before needs came into play?

you repeatedly
tried to show me
what “needs” meant to you

To continue the play
on a new level

ensuring “spiritual remains still as is”

but obviously my open mind needed a reset
Incapable of conceiving beyond its intellectualized
sensuality

I called your needs a threat

Whatever done you never clapperclawed
besides never quitting the essence

Let me go now with this letter
Cause I can’t let you go
Because for a – “let go”
I can only let
that temporal ‘me’
in the blanket of
‘you’ go
and

Let me dance with you again
and stay this time
In the eyes of hearts
That can draw shapes of love
On starry skies

for a cat at the backyard that recently left who became a secret friend over the difficult times last years

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