To your call I wake up
Walk in the dark
Through what should be a window or glass
I knew it was
There is a memory supporting the theory
of the past or of yesterdays
but not for the part :
“I saw you through”
what could be a cloud
unseen like the glass
Persisting about the hereness
Becoming my eyes
and my heart
The glitter before the manifestation of an object
You are I that looks through and sees
You are I which I understand deeply
Through a moment
In my body
Tired but shocked from seeing such …
Ready to embrace you again in my arms
for the first and the last time
Sometime ago I have promised myself
If I see a rainbow and a red balloon
sync to the same feeling of a recognition
that these are maybe sentient
and be puzzled about the oddness of such an appearance
that in fact I have already known they would appear Unknowing whether the feeling of immediate recognition has created the puzzlement or the feeling of inspiration gave rise to such visibility that it is not a deja vu and because I say it is not then maybe it is that a knowing and the visibility is simultaneous Like the ‘which comes before cliche chicken and the egg story’
then that would be a proof that I am in a dream
And this already happened a couple of times and I haven’t even awakened yet to recall I mean if that would be a dream… but forget about it My swollen leg could be the only cure to disprove and although these two events seem to occur at different times such thing do not happen before or after It is exactly at the same moment and because of each other Perception of time is unit here therefore inconsistent to explain the occurrence of an event i.e. time is directly proportional here to the feeling that pinned it to space and always accessible by that very specific feeling which always is one and the same in essence being the essence but in this case specified somehow as if it relates to a color or form
like that red balloon the other day!
burying half of its jelly-belly in the gutter
of a high building
while I was crossing
It did so almost whistling
as if there was nothing to see!
but the big-Red blushed
laying there bare what could not be shrunken from my inspiration
A drizzly beauty glowing under the autumn light
and That rainbow ? how would you explain that rainbow ?!
also the day before this one
You know which one I mean
same way again
Camouflaged by the smokey motion of two mingling
clouds while we were doing asanas ..
such an unmissable catch to our gaze
Triggering exactly same knowing
Slowly paling in style
by each exhalation
as if it never showed up
Alas shining bright again
by each cloud-fading inhalation
Knowing This game
Observing from a Still point
between these two stretchy ends
And knowing that
Knowing is always and only there to knowing
Like you actually
Yes like you ! that
you are always here with me everywhere
when I don’t think about you but know you
See you through your eyes
Like the balloon and the rainbow
Not so much different than you ?!?
Maybe even not at all different than you!
but in that case are you maybe also then in the same dream?
maybe you could even catch that balloon for me
when I’d throw it to you over the rainbow
for the Play!
or are you still going to hide then?
wake up my love
this was the hiding game in the dream ?
but what if
I wake up and see
you point at a real rainbow /?
because maybe I fell asleep after we played with a red balloon/?
using it now
as my pillow
for a while
always for a while until I wake up again
In these fields of wonders
Nicky, June 2016, pencil, ink watercolors on paper
this postcard was a gift for an inspiring person full of love and courage