Glassmoon

To your call I wake up
Walk in the dark
Lookup
Through what should be a window or glass
I knew it was

There is a memory supporting the theory
of the past or of yesterdays
but not for the part :
“I saw you through”

this you
hiding behind
what could be a cloud

unseen like the glass

shining jewel
Illuminating round
glaring light
with cheeks

smiling
Persisting about the hereness
Becoming my eyes
and my heart
expanding majestic

The glitter before the manifestation of an object
You are I that looks through and sees
You are I which I understand deeply
Through a moment
observing duality

Observing yeah
duality yeah
Who?
Who? me?

In my body
Tired but shocked from seeing such …
Reality

Ready to embrace you again in my arms
and forgive
for the first and the last time

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A hiding dream

Sometime ago I have promised myself
If I see a rainbow and a red balloon

sync to the same feeling of a recognition

that these are maybe sentient
and be puzzled about the oddness of such an appearance

that in fact I have already known they would appear Unknowing whether the feeling of immediate recognition has created the puzzlement or the feeling of inspiration gave rise to such visibility that it is not a deja vu and because I say it is not then maybe it is that a knowing and the visibility is simultaneous Like the ‘which comes before cliche chicken and the egg story’

then that would be a proof that I am in a dream

And this already happened a couple of times and I haven’t even awakened yet to recall I mean if that would be a dream… but forget about it My swollen leg could be the only cure to disprove and although these two events seem to occur at different times such thing do not happen before or after It is exactly at the same moment and because of each other Perception of time is unit here therefore inconsistent to explain the occurrence of an event i.e. time is directly proportional here to the feeling that pinned it to space and always accessible by that very specific feeling which always is one and the same in essence being the essence but in this case specified somehow as if it relates to a color or form

like that red balloon the other day!
burying half of its jelly-belly in the gutter
of a high building
while I was crossing
It did so almost whistling
as if there was nothing to see!
but the big-Red blushed
instantaneously
haha
laying there bare what could not be shrunken from my inspiration
A drizzly beauty glowing under the autumn light

and That rainbow ? how would you explain that rainbow ?!
also the day before this one
You know which one I mean
same way again
Camouflaged by the smokey motion of two mingling
clouds while we were doing asanas ..
such an unmissable catch to our gaze
Triggering exactly same knowing
Slowly paling in style
by each exhalation
as if it never showed up
Alas shining bright again
by each cloud-fading inhalation

of ours
Knowing This game
Observing from a Still point
between these two stretchy ends
And knowing that

Knowing is always and only there to knowing

Like you actually
Yes like you ! that
you are always here with me everywhere
when I don’t think about you but know you
See you through your eyes
Like the balloon and the rainbow

So maybe…even
Not so much different than you ?!?
Maybe even not at all different than you!

but in that case are you maybe also then in the same dream?

Wow! So
maybe you could even catch that balloon for me
when I’d throw it to you over the rainbow
for the Play!
or are you still going to hide then?
or say
wake up my love
this was the hiding game in the dream ?


but what if
what if
I wake up and see
you point at a real rainbow /?
because maybe I fell asleep after we played with a red balloon/?
using it now
as my pillow
for a while

?
always for a while until I wake up again
and again
In these fields of wonders

nicky

Nicky, June 2016, pencil, ink watercolors on paper
this postcard was a gift for an inspiring person full of love and courage

smoke of the night cig

It is so nice this vertical crack on the wall
and the spot right to the left of it
drawing a tangent of a horizontal separation
of the stage for the actors of the light show
beyond or above

Stressing the desire of the squarish light
that wants to connect to its perpendicular variant
from its longing –smoothly mixed by watercolors– shadowy edge

as if they are different from each other
because it seems so to the eye and
as if not the both is made of the same light
forgetting exactly like the mind of the body carrying that observing eye

that’s why the canvas of the eye perceives their story so

it could have been something totally different -unchanging the scene
but as said
this depends on the cleanliness of the mind of the body carrying that observing eye

and the one
Not needing much
who says
It is nice enough
is the unchanging one
that one stays
smiling always
as the true seer
seeing
the perceiver and the perceived and the story in story
knowing all
will vanish soon
like the smoke of my night cig
still Just before sleep
It is a bad habit I know
Like others say

the last day

it’s my last day
it’s your last day
it’s his last day
it’s her last day
it’s our last day
a day a hundred day
99 th of which has already been

it’s my last day
it’s your last day
it’s his last day
it’s her last day
it’s our last day
a day a hundred day
one left already pending

it’s my last day
it’s your last day
it’s his last day
it’s her last day
it’s our last day
and still a day
but now even
less than a day
and still a day

it’s my last day
it’s your last day
it’s his last day
it’s her last day
it’s our last day
a day which has never been
so much of a day!

only knowing heals

It is not belief that heals it is the knowing
belief always comes with its opposite
belief can only exist with its counterpart
belief and unbelief therefore – both the same
Same as all counterparts
These mean duality
Duality means being in exile- separate from the truth of the self
Belief is though useful for those who do not know themselves
Those who do not know themselves believe in something and/or someone
Always something else
Always someone else than the self
and it is useful teaching and exercise for those on the path of knowing the self

because if you need to check
The palace will collapse
once you hesitate…
Hesitate means a test
Hesitate means a check
a double-check
On the single mountain path at the top towards the crest
You can’t hesitate you are the mountain there you become the crest
Thoughtless wordless

There is no hesitation for knowing
There are no double checks to knowing
There are no lookbacks for knowing
There are no tests to knowing
cause knowing is
desireless
Always content
Timeless
placeless
nameless
Knowing is the light manifesting summer in winter
Knowing is the light that contains all history
Knowing is the light of you in all as I
Knowing is I

Buddy!

bud

There was a little monster with many eyes
don’t know how many but certainly plenty
wherein an I (like in I am)
was assigned to each eye
Not always merry or friendly
ready at times to discretely vary
inciting an envy,
ignoring an essence
that all of the I’s
or eyes
come from one belly.

O what a hard time – twisting along thousands of one alley
Constantly rebalancing the ever changing resultant force of its ever changing torques
even while deciding on a method how to cross a valley

Life was Vertiginous at all times for such a little buddy – O my cuty- lodging in one body

One day he came to me wibbly for a lesson of yoga
We were doing this eastern stretch as taught in ashtanga
Where big toes revolve to touch their base until they become one toe
I said -NOW with all of your eyes focus on to one point just
Only then we shall perform this asana
Training of the minds of your eyes comes first
so that you can master the big toe gaze-

Dunno why and how
He chose to focus on a kitchen blender half-full
Maybe because that was the only object without a color
standing there in that delusively colored space painted by his eyes

however this time all of the eyes were faithful to my words
Peculiarly and even almost hungrily grasped the handle
distantly
and plunged into the water with lemon, coriander and honey
Pulsating the liquid
first gently then violently
by each inhalation
revolving it to some viscous saucy pert until suddenly
a big chunk of an eye plopped out onto the top
almost like in the process of preparing curd
and with a big exhalation it Separated from all the rest
through a whirl of Relax! Relax!
like the sound of electrons moving around the nucleus –
while a sneezy zest sank in one flocky line towards the bottom
….
….
(please stay in utthita parsvakonasana B pose for five breaths on both sides before reading the next line of the story and let someone else do the counting for you then you can read rest of the story)

He suddenly picked the chunk of an eye
and placed it on his forehead to wink Bright
and combined it with a big smile
O this shiny Eye compact and intact middled a Heart peaceful and content
and plainly phrased a Namaste word :
I guess we may as well keep the eastern stretch for another day. Don’t you think ?

Receiving a touch of my thumb
becoming one chest with me vertically
like a Lotus – home for both
Respectful towards his new body
approving this new face and phase
Not even once he cried for the lost …colors maybe … or of futility
call it A mind rephrased – without a past

Our call from this new world has its promise planted
… now
I still call him buddy and certainly
One I (like the number 1 representing a single entity) is enough TO BE
for the true journey

sanctuary

I looked through the fumes of the mirror
deep into your eyes
and only then I knew to differentiate
these smokey lines of my own face
from yours
seeing the shine of my pupils
engraved in an old picture
perpetuating in yours
like an orb of grace
expanding in pastel light
oozing away
freckles of desire
unmanifest
as if traces of contractions
of a galaxy conceived
deliquesces into its unborn unity

The anatomy of letting go

When it comes to forgiveness
In truth there is not a single body
to be forgiven except for your own
Let go of that self with an inner smile
Let these very subtle flocculation dissolve in the pipelines
By inner knowledge
and flow Down the back
drawing the borders of the levator scapulae
On Both sides of the neck
where both lines shall meet to run down
through the gutter of the cervical curve
A clearing and space created for it by compassion and
Skin Replaced by the regenerated cells of the mind purified
And that pseudo-self delivered from the sacrum to the bosom of mother earth
with a truthful farewell.

Keep it like a Jewel

likeajewelhesaid

like a jewel – ink and pencil on paper – 21×29,7 cm

Like jewels he said
Unknowing
I kept these last two
like jewels

The unchanging gift
of the grandeur tree

Aging

through the
unchanging change
of the seasons…

in the garden of tales

with Roses
A cherry tree
An owl
A weasel
A pomegranate tree
A well
A frog
An apple and a plum tree
A snake and an urchin
And the peculiar birds in a row:
A laughing bird
A singing bird
A napping bird
A rushing bird and
A guarding bird
The last one also
gives them many changing tasks
using verbs
and they become many
also disappear sometimes
as if there hasn’t been any

And of course
The bees!
Spiders too
strange insects too

Sometimes
A cat passes
not always!
changing its shape and color
each time it passes
I know
it is the cat

Sometimes people visit
Not always

changing the place
of the fireplace
by the season
from outsides
to insides and then again
from insides to outsides

And an an orphan dog
abandoned there
by one of such people
that he trusted
and if there would be a chance
He would trust again

He is always there nowadays
Alone mostly
sheltering
in my shadow

and Only he knows
where I have been hiding

In the shadows of the shadows

which also stays

Even though
Leaves change
Branches change
Creatures change

And
will stay
As long as he is there
Looking for love

cause My shadow
made of
a heart
of dreaming him like a jewel 
from beyond a far far Land –
Shadowless

Now

Our secret is your secret
Our secret is my secret
your secret and my secret is
Our secret

 

notes: I heard the story of the dog from my sister. It saddened me . Hoping the light of this poem will bring love and warmth to this lonely dog far far away and it will and it does.

Such is our lives hiding at times in a shadow of words coming from limited knowledge that can bind us until we liberate by seeing  the truth within , the light within, the only light and convert that source of bondage to a source of liberation.