White light

I just come up
To give you a hug
My love
.

And Up Up
That white light .

I remain
Dashing skies as if
.

Everything else
Moves
Moves as if
.

I
Higher than high
Met you
because of a rhyme .

To never
Sever
Sever from you again
.

A song we are
.

that same Sakti
with or without body
.

That makes me fly
.

And
I just came up
To give you a hug
My love
.

And
Once I shall stay
When once diminishes
Once

Healing 

Today my body is sick
very sick
but I won’t use any medication
This I know is a good method of observation to test how sincere I am
or is it just a mind born fantasy
My love
My love for you

Point of silence which I am perpetually in
is bliss
from where ambrosia flows as if fluid light and heals and rejuvenates all
because of your grace and my love

This body shall be healed again through your light and mine

Today my body is sick
very sick
and this I got as a blessing through the words of a sick man yesterday

I asked him how his sickness manifested
The symptoms
and dressed up with it
as he described
through his blue eyes and shirt
10 minutes later I started shaking
with pain and fewer … as he described
Next day he was well again

Today my body is sick
very sick
but I won’t use any medication
I will heal it
Centralized
Have I been true to you my love?

It is for cleansing
and purification
of mind
of body

It is a blessing I know
of this place
that comes about and shines
for and by your love only

and my contemplation
is healing with me
All there is around me

All

A hiding dream

Sometime ago I have promised myself
If I see a rainbow and a red balloon

sync to the same feeling of a recognition

that these are maybe sentient
and be puzzled about the oddness of such an appearance

that in fact I have already known they would appear Unknowing whether the feeling of immediate recognition has created the puzzlement or the feeling of inspiration gave rise to such visibility that it is not a deja vu and because I say it is not then maybe it is that a knowing and the visibility is simultaneous Like the ‘which comes before cliche chicken and the egg story’

then that would be a proof that I am in a dream

And this already happened a couple of times and I haven’t even awakened yet to recall I mean if that would be a dream… but forget about it My swollen leg could be the only cure to disprove and although these two events seem to occur at different times such thing do not happen before or after It is exactly at the same moment and because of each other Perception of time is unit here therefore inconsistent to explain the occurrence of an event i.e. time is directly proportional here to the feeling that pinned it to space and always accessible by that very specific feeling which always is one and the same in essence being the essence but in this case specified somehow as if it relates to a color or form

like that red balloon the other day!
burying half of its jelly-belly in the gutter
of a high building
while I was crossing
It did so almost whistling
as if there was nothing to see!
but the big-Red blushed
instantaneously
haha
laying there bare what could not be shrunken from my inspiration
A drizzly beauty glowing under the autumn light

and That rainbow ? how would you explain that rainbow ?!
also the day before this one
You know which one I mean
same way again
Camouflaged by the smokey motion of two mingling
clouds while we were doing asanas ..
such an unmissable catch to our gaze
Triggering exactly same knowing
Slowly paling in style
by each exhalation
as if it never showed up
Alas shining bright again
by each cloud-fading inhalation

of ours
Knowing This game
Observing from a Still point
between these two stretchy ends
And knowing that

Knowing is always and only there to knowing

Like you actually
Yes like you ! that
you are always here with me everywhere
when I don’t think about you but know you
See you through your eyes
Like the balloon and the rainbow

So maybe…even
Not so much different than you ?!?
Maybe even not at all different than you!

but in that case are you maybe also then in the same dream?

Wow! So
maybe you could even catch that balloon for me
when I’d throw it to you over the rainbow
for the Play!
or are you still going to hide then?
or say
wake up my love
this was the hiding game in the dream ?


but what if
what if
I wake up and see
you point at a real rainbow /?
because maybe I fell asleep after we played with a red balloon/?
using it now
as my pillow
for a while

?
always for a while until I wake up again
and again
In these fields of wonders

nicky

Nicky, June 2016, pencil, ink watercolors on paper
this postcard was a gift for an inspiring person full of love and courage

Buddy!

bud

There was a little monster with many eyes
don’t know how many but certainly plenty
wherein an I (like in I am)
was assigned to each eye
Not always merry or friendly
ready at times to discretely vary
inciting an envy,
ignoring an essence
that all of the I’s
or eyes
come from one belly.

O what a hard time – twisting along thousands of one alley
Constantly rebalancing the ever changing resultant force of its ever changing torques
even while deciding on a method how to cross a valley

Life was Vertiginous at all times for such a little buddy – O my cuty- lodging in one body

One day he came to me wibbly for a lesson of yoga
We were doing this eastern stretch as taught in ashtanga
Where big toes revolve to touch their base until they become one toe
I said -NOW with all of your eyes focus on to one point just
Only then we shall perform this asana
Training of the minds of your eyes comes first
so that you can master the big toe gaze-

Dunno why and how
He chose to focus on a kitchen blender half-full
Maybe because that was the only object without a color
standing there in that delusively colored space painted by his eyes

however this time all of the eyes were faithful to my words
Peculiarly and even almost hungrily grasped the handle
distantly
and plunged into the water with lemon, coriander and honey
Pulsating the liquid
first gently then violently
by each inhalation
revolving it to some viscous saucy pert until suddenly
a big chunk of an eye plopped out onto the top
almost like in the process of preparing curd
and with a big exhalation it Separated from all the rest
through a whirl of Relax! Relax!
like the sound of electrons moving around the nucleus –
while a sneezy zest sank in one flocky line towards the bottom
….
….
(please stay in utthita parsvakonasana B pose for five breaths on both sides before reading the next line of the story and let someone else do the counting for you then you can read rest of the story)

He suddenly picked the chunk of an eye
and placed it on his forehead to wink Bright
and combined it with a big smile
O this shiny Eye compact and intact middled a Heart peaceful and content
and plainly phrased a Namaste word :
I guess we may as well keep the eastern stretch for another day. Don’t you think ?

Receiving a touch of my thumb
becoming one chest with me vertically
like a Lotus – home for both
Respectful towards his new body
approving this new face and phase
Not even once he cried for the lost …colors maybe … or of futility
call it A mind rephrased – without a past

Our call from this new world has its promise planted
… now
I still call him buddy and certainly
One I (like the number 1 representing a single entity) is enough TO BE
for the true journey

sanctuary

I looked through the fumes of the mirror
deep into your eyes
and only then I knew to differentiate
these smokey lines of my own face
from yours
seeing the shine of my pupils
engraved in an old picture
perpetuating in yours
like an orb of grace
expanding in pastel light
oozing away
freckles of desire
unmanifest
as if traces of contractions
of a galaxy conceived
deliquesces into its unborn unity

The anatomy of letting go

When it comes to forgiveness
In truth there is not a single body
to be forgiven except for your own
Let go of that self with an inner smile
Let these very subtle flocculation dissolve in the pipelines
By inner knowledge
and flow Down the back
drawing the borders of the levator scapulae
On Both sides of the neck
where both lines shall meet to run down
through the gutter of the cervical curve
A clearing and space created for it by compassion and
Skin Replaced by the regenerated cells of the mind purified
And that pseudo-self delivered from the sacrum to the bosom of mother earth
with a truthful farewell.

Phew! Game over

well it seems they all know that I know by now
-laugh-
as both
the girl and the boy disappeared
-clearing the throat-
but no hard feelings…
We all had fun in the end
-sigh-

Such futile games
Such silly games
We wish to play
with ourselves
at times
until
We can pick up the essence

***

Submerged into the peace
of this endlessly lingering
mantra
remaking me

in my ears

reshaping dehinaḥ
I delve into that universe
or I

Beyond and above
My eyes shine
same as the sunrise
Beyond skies
and clouds

but

My life story
in this body and place
as if it’s hers ..still
and she
is a residual trace

Oh dear one
one and the only one

If you have asked
the password
I’d have given you
at once
willingly
Instead of
it
manifesting
as your karma

Oh dear one
my
one and the only one

I shall whisper you
in the ear
like a mantra
until you wake up
in another dream
in which
I am not.